Well, I made it.
I made it to 18 months of breastfeeding my baby boy! 18 months was my goal for this little guy since that was how long I nursed Hanley.
From about 13-14 months, I was only nursing Conrad at nap time and bed time. He typically would fall asleep while he nursed and I would transfer him into his bed and he would usually stay asleep. Unlike his sister, he wasn't very good at soothing himself to sleep on his own and this was my ultimate goal as we approached ending our nursing relationship. As more time went by, he was only falling asleep while nursing during nap time, and not so much during bed time, but this was a perfect time to start getting him prepared to soothe himself to sleep on his own. I would nurse him at bedtime and there would come a point when he wouldn't fall asleep but would start to be very wiggly. I would then transfer him into his bed and walk out and he was able to put himself to sleep, I just needed him to do that without nursing at all. Well this went on for several months until we fast forward to 18 months...
About a month ago, it was a Saturday night and it was time for bed. Conrad has a projector night light that shines on his ceiling and it is supposed to spin and show pictures but its been broken for quite some time now. This particular night, it happened to be spinning and Conrad was facing out on my lap, watching the projector spin on his ceiling. We were talking about the pictures as they each popped up of various sea life and I thought to myself "is this gonna be the night?" He wasnt trying to turn around to nurse and was completely content just rocking on my lap that way. So I think I sang him a couple songs and then I laid him in his bed and walked out...nothing was happening, he wasnt crying, didn't stand up, acted like this was a normal for him. I was shocked to say the least. I kept listening and watching at the video monitor and getting sad that I felt like he didn't need me anymore (funny how that works, right!?) He actually did start to moan around in his bed, but still never tried standing up, and eventually fell asleep.
The next day, Sunday, we were out majority of the day and Conrad did not get a nap, so he didn't nurse again. I just figured since I was already on day 2 of not nursing (with no protesting, yet) that I needed to just roll with it. That night at bedtime, I was obviously hoping the projector would be spinning again, but of course it wasn't. I still held him facing outward on my lap and rocked him while I sang to him. After some time and 12 songs later, I told him I was going to lay him in bed, and I walked out. He cried for a minute or two and I was having a war within myself and wanted to cave so he didn't have to cry. I stayed strong and each day and night got better, he only really tried to tug at my shirt 2 different times and each time I told him that mommas milk was all gone and he seemed like he was fine with that.
So for now, our bedtime routine involves reading books in Hanleys bed together and then tucking her in and then going to Conrads glider where I rock him while singing. I usually ask him if he's ready to lay in bed and he will either shake his head yes or no and when he's ready, I lay him down and that sweet boy will lay there and fall asleep on his own!
It's been such an awesome journey to breastfeed both of my babes! I'm so grateful to have this opportunity to do it for so long and such rewarding experiences.
The end of Hanleys breastfeeding journey was so similar to Conrads, you can also read that post here.
